Serving as a special needs trustee

If you have a disabled relative, perhaps a sibling, you may be asked to serve as the trustee for their “special needs trust.” While this is quite an honor, it’s an immense responsibility. Be sure you have the knowledge and support you will need.

Chronic kidney disease

Chronic kidney disease

March is National Kidney Month. Fully 15% of Americans have chronic kidney disease. Many are unaware of it. The condition lasts for decades, and symptoms do not appear until it is in the later stages, when irreversible damage has already been done. Should your loved one get checked?

Insomnia in older adults

Insomnia in older adults

If your loved one is having sleep problems, have them keep a sleep log for one or two weeks and then bring it to the doctor. Untreated sleep problems contribute to depression and memory loss.

What is “assisted living”?

These facilities are best suited to older adults who are relatively healthy. They serve as a more affordable alternative to a nursing home for those who need help only with meals, housekeeping, bathing and dressing, and getting around.

Dealing with disgust

Disgust is a natural response to something distasteful. But it can be distressing when it arises in the course of your caregiving duties. You may not be able to get rid of it completely, but there are things you can do to reduce the intensity.

Maybe it’s not Alzheimer’s

If you’re worried about dementia, it may be that memory or thinking problems are being caused by conditions that can be treated and reversed. Remove the anxiety by getting a full medical evaluation.

Tech support for your relative(s)

If your older relatives did not learn Internet skills during their work lives, you may be getting calls to provide tech support. It can be frustrating, inconvenient, and perhaps not even the best for your relationship. There are alternatives.

Burn and fire safety

Burn and fire safety

February 4–10 is National Burn Awareness Week, a good reminder to review precautions that can protect your loved one from harm.

Early-onset dementia: Money issues

Early-onset dementia: Money issues

If your partner has received a dementia diagnosis and is still working, consider these resources to help address the impact it will have on your family finances.

Making the most of regret

If you feel guilty and have regrets as a family caregiver, you are not alone. It could be because you are overstressed. Still, regret can be a useful signal that it’s time to do some thoughtful reflection and decide on future actions.

Acting as a “human guide”

Acting as a "human guide"

Learn tips to safely and effectively assist your visually impaired loved one, especially if they are in unfamiliar territory.

Skin care and aging

The skin is the body’s largest organ and its essential “armor.” To maintain good health, skin needs extra attention as we age. The skin has three layers. Working together, they act as the body’s shield by preventing bacteria and viruses from getting into the body and keeping body fluids from evaporating out; insulation by preserving…

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Positive connections with staff

Help the daily caregivers develop a fondness for your relative and view them as more than “the hip replacement in 210.” Showing a genuine interest in the life and daily experience of the aides will go a long way toward building a congenial sense of teamwork.

Choosing a “senior tablet”

While many older adults do just fine with a regular consumer-grade tablet, others do better with a “senior tablet,” which has safety precautions and a simplified interface. Learn what to look for if you are considering one for your relative.

Dementia: Navigating the airport

Providing comfort and calm is the watchword for the day of travel with a person who has dementia. Take advantage of the help that is available from airport personnel.

Why Mom doesn’t take her pills

Failure to follow medical advice is one of the primary reasons older adults end up in the hospital. What can you do to help your loved one adhere to the doctor’s orders?

How nutrition affects breathing

If your loved one has COPD, it’s important to understand which foods are most helpful and which should be limited. You might be surprised by the difference nutrition can make!

Pacing yourself

As a family caregiver, it’s easy to put your own needs last. You may feel it is a virtue, but actually, you are putting yourself and your loved one at risk. You simply have to take breaks and to safeguard your own well-being. Caregivers who don’t experience significant mental and physical health consequences.

Financial/legal aspects of caregiving

How to pay for care is a big worry for families. Learn about options for financial support, as well as tax and workplace protections to assist you as the family caregiver. There are also legal documents your loved one will need to prepare to be sure their wishes are followed. For that, it’s best to work with an attorney.

Family Caregiving 101

November is National Family Caregivers Month. Whether you are new to family caregiving or have been doing it for a while, we outline the top strategies that will help you navigate the process effectively and keep stress to a minimum. This week we focus on gathering information and finding help.

Flying with oxygen

Flying with oxygen

November is COPD Awareness Month (chronic obstructive pulmonary disease). If your loved one has respiratory problems and needs oxygen, they can still travel by plane. You just need to plan ahead.

Curbing your perfectionism

Curbing your perfectionism

Perfectionism is a mental habit that can get in your way as a family caregiver. Your intentions are the best, for everyone. But it will be better for you, and your loved one and family, if you can develop a more nuanced approach where doing the best you can REASONABLY do is the gold standard.

Affordable funerals

Affordable funerals

Many families instinctively feel that the amount of money spent on a funeral reflects the love felt for their departed relative. Not so! That belief can result in unnecessary debt. Consider separating the disposal of the body from the memorial service and focus on what will be the most personally meaningful for survivors.

Physical therapy and pain relief

Physical therapy and pain relief

Pain is no fun, whether in a knee, a neck, or elsewhere in the body. There are drugs that dull pain. But they don’t cure the problem. Plus, prescription drugs usually have side effects or are addictive. Physical therapy (PT) is a proven treatment that can relieve pain and in some instances, cure the problem.

What is hoarding?

What is hoarding?

Perhaps you wonder if your family member is a “hoarder.” (You may even harbor secret fears about yourself!) We all have cherished possessions. From trophies to teacups. Spare buttons to cans of half-used paint. But hoarding is different.

Senior move managers

Senior move managers

Does your loved one need to downsize? Move? Does the prospect seem overwhelming? Perhaps not just physically, but emotionally too? Enter the senior move manager: Part mover, part interior decorator, part compassionate friend. These professionals take a holistic approach. They handle the physical logistics. They are also skilled at assisting older adults with the emotional side of a move.

Frontotemporal dementia (FTD)

This is World FTD Awareness Week. People with FTD often exhibit sudden changes in behavior or personality. FTD is frequently misdiagnosed as Alzheimer’s disease, depression, or some psychiatric disorder. It is the most common form of dementia for people under 65 (early-onset dementia).

Caring as a stepfamily

Caring as a stepfamily

National Stepfamily Day falls in September. To honor these special families, we are featuring an article about working with stepsiblings. It could be that you have hardly met your “brothers and sisters,” yet you may be called upon to work together in an eldercare crisis.

Managing pain with music

Managing pain with music

September is Pain Awareness Month. Consider addressing your loved one’s pain with tips from music therapy. No drugs. No side effects. Simply drawing on the mind-body connection to lift mood, enhance relaxation, and distract from pain.

When you feel more resentment than love

When you feel more resentment than love

A difficult or abusive childhood makes for a very uncomfortable caregiving situation when your parent begins to need help in their later years. You don’t have to do it all. Consider these strategies for doing what feels right while also taking care of yourself.

Low-vision bathroom

Support your loved one’s independence with simple but important low-vision adaptations in the bathroom: Color contrasts, a magnifying mirror, a shower caddy, etc.

How is your relative’s “social health”?

How is your relative's "social health"?

The U.S. Surgeon General reports we have a loneliness epidemic. Like smoking and obesity, social isolation creates a greater risk for poor health. It’s been associated with a 48 percent increase in “premature death” (a death where a change in lifestyle could have resulted in a longer life). Our social health affects our physical health.

Adjusting to memory care

It will likely take one to three months for you and your loved one to get used to the new living situation at memory care. Strong emotions are to be expected. But there are strategies to ease the transition and promote a resilient recovery for both of you.

When ice cream is better than salad

Have you spent years encouraging a loved one to steer clear of salt or avoid fat? There is no doubt that a healthy diet can promote longevity. But there does come a time when quality of life is more important.

What is “healthy selfishness”?

What is "healthy selfishness"?

Is being selfish always bad? Is it possible to be too altruistic? Take the survey to see where you stand. It could be that you and your loved one would benefit from your being a little more selfish—in a healthy way.

Dementia: Packing for a trip

Once you’ve decided to go, there are a few things you can do weeks ahead of time, and then while packing, that will ease many of the challenges that might arise in the course of your travels.

Bringing the hospital home

If your loved one is frail or has dementia but needs treatment for pneumonia, a urinary tract infection, or a flare of heart failure or COPD, you may be eligible for a Hospital at Home program. A team of professionals mobilizes to treat your relative at home. Popular in Europe, this program provides quicker recovery without the common setbacks of a hospitalization.

Senior bullying and exclusion

For Elder Abuse Awareness Month, we look at the problem of bullying and exclusion in senior housing. It’s surprisingly common. Fortunately, there are things you can do, whether your loved one is on the receiving end or the “bully” themselves.

Meaningful end of life conversations

Meaningful end of life conversations

A relative’s serious illness pushes us to communicate deep thoughts and bring closure to the relationship before we lose the chance. Don’t postpone those discussions! They may be awkward, but they can be profoundly important for all involved.

Preparing for a heat wave

Preparing for a heat wave

Extreme temperatures are especially hard on older adults. There are things you can do for your loved one to reduce the impact of a heat wave this summer, even if you live far away.

Dementia: Is travel realistic?

Dementia: Is travel realistic?

Are you hoping to travel this summer with a loved one who has dementia? New and crowded situations are notorious for creating confusion and outbursts. Take a moment to reflect on your relative’s likely reactions and what you can do to keep them comfortable.

What is “elder abuse”?

What is "elder abuse"?

June 15 is World Elder Abuse Awareness Day. There are seven different ways that elders can be exploited. Learn what they are and how to report it if you suspect a problem.

Tips for vacationing without Mom

Tips for vacationing without Mom

As a family caregiver, you need to take a break now and then. It’s not selfish. It’s essential! But in order to truly rest, you’ll want to be sure your relative is covered.

Cancer screenings covered by Medicare

National Cancer Survivors Day is coming up (June 4), which celebrates the fact that 66% of those ever diagnosed with cancer are still alive five years later. Help your loved one get a jump on any potential cancer by taking advantage of these free screening tests.

Tinnitus: Ringing in the ears

Tinnitus: Ringing in the ears

Nearly one in four older adults experiences ringing in the ears, called “tinnitus.” For some, it interferes with concentration and is so severe it leads to insomnia, depression, and anxiety. In honor of Better Hearing and Speech Month, we highlight what you can do to help your loved one address this all-too-common condition.

Moving to memory care

Moving to memory care

Once you decide memory care is the wisest path, the next step is choosing a facility and creating a smooth moving day. Many memory care communities have a “move-in coordinator” or other family liaison. Rely on this professional for guidance.

Lessons from the seriously ill

A long-time hospice nurse—someone deeply committed to caring for the seriously ill—created this list of the top five deathbed regrets she frequently observed in her patients. She vowed to take these lessons to heart. Do any of these ring true for you?

The care plan and meeting

The care plan and meeting

If your loved one is admitted to a skilled nursing facility, Medicare requires the staff develop an initial, personalized care plan within the first 48 hours. This describes who should be doing what. Then, within the first 14 days, the staff must assemble a comprehensive assessment, which must include your loved one’s needs and strengths.

Do you strive for perfection?

Do you strive for perfection?

It’s important to do the best you can when caring for a loved one. But aiming for perfection can bring on problems. For yourself, in terms of anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. And for your relative and other family members, who may feel burdened by living under the stress of constant measurement and judgment.

Pillbox 2.0

Pillbox 2.0

For many people, a pillbox is just the ticket. But as we age, we may take more medicines. Filling the box requires more concentration. Remembering to take the meds can become more challenging. Many families turn to technology to help an aging loved one.

Gather important documents

Gather important documents

If you are the person most likely to step in if your loved one is unable to get to the bills—a hospitalization, dementia—you need to get oriented. And organized! It’s easy to lose track of paperwork, especially someone else’s. Professionals recommend gathering important documents in a file or binder for safekeeping. Put that in a locked and fireproof location. Consider a small home safe. Or a safe deposit box at the bank.

Calling a family meeting

April 10 is Siblings Day! How are things going with your siblings? Does everyone in your family participate in the care of your loved one? Is there agreement on the problems? The solutions? If not, you aren’t alone with this issue. But you could probably use a family meeting or two to get everyone rowing in the same direction.

Early-onset Alzheimer’s

If your spouse is younger than 65 and has received an Alzheimer’s diagnosis, you may feel in a world all your own. You probably don’t know anyone else in this situation and may sense a social stigma. It can be scary. Lonely. And feel just not fair!

Denture care

Did you know “false teeth” need to be brushed daily, just like “real teeth” do? Learn how you can help your loved one avoid infections, maintain good nutrition, and extend the life of their dentures.

Choosing a meal service

Food is so profoundly linked to health and love, it can be distressing to realize that someone you care for is missing meals or otherwise eating poorly. There are many services available to help, each with their own special procedures. Learn about the questions you’ll want to ask.

Is it time for memory care?

People with moderate dementia are rarely aware of their need for help. It will be the family members who make any placement decisions. How do you know when this option should be explored?

If you are not the primary caregiver

If someone else in your family has primary responsibility for the care of your loved one, that doesn’t mean you don’t have anything to contribute. Far from it! Caring for an older adult is more than one person can do alone. There are many ways to lend a hand (even if you don’t live nearby).

Addressing fatigue in heart failure

Addressing fatigue in heart failure

February is Heart Month. If your loved one needs frequent naps and gets out of breath easily, he or she may need a daily life energy budget. (This is especially true for people with heart failure.)

Home modifications for vision loss

If the person you care for has a low vision diagnosis, three types of modifications to the home can make life easier: Lighting, glare control, and the use of color contrast. Fortunately, these strategies are relatively inexpensive.

Where are the paid caregivers?

Frustrated in your search for a paid caregiver? You are not alone. There is an extreme shortage of helpers right now. Even before COVID, the demand for aides was greater than the supply. The “Great Resignation” hit the caring professions hard. Caregivers close to retirement left early. And many younger workers decided to opt for safer, less demanding jobs. In some states, as many as 38% of direct-care workers chose other occupations last year.

Long-distance caregiving

Long-distance caregiving

Caring for a parent long distance brings its own challenges. With planning, organization, and frequent communication—plus a little help from technology—you can provide effective support.

The yearly “Wellness Visit”

Catching things early is big with Medicare. Every year, all Medicare enrollees are eligible for a free “Wellness Visit” with their primary care doctor. This is NOT an annual physical, so don’t use that term when making the appointment. Beyond basic vitals—height, weight, blood pressure, and pulse—there is no physical examination. If a physical exam is done, your loved one may have to foot the bill.

Are you the primary caregiver?

Being primary can be quite a job. In many cases it involves driving to the doctor and managing medications, handling finances, providing for daily needs, coordinating care services, and keeping the elder’s spirits up. If you are that person, don’t try to do it alone—even if it seems like that’s the only choice.

Dry eye syndrome

Our eyes show us the world. If something goes wrong with them, it can affect our total well-being. Dry eye syndrome makes eyes feel gritty, burning, itchy, and sensitive—discomforts that are hard to ignore! It typically manifests with age and affects as many as 30% of older adults.

Cold weather safety tips for indoors

The dangers of cold weather are obvious outdoors. But there are dangers indoors, too, most often because the house thermostat is set too low. People can die from being too cold. Older adults are especially at risk.

Healing torn relations

Take any roomful of people and likely two-thirds of them have relatives who aren’t talking to each other. Families are messy. Hurts abound. Some people wait until a serious diagnosis to reconcile. They often regret the years of separation they can never retrieve. Others try forgiveness earlier in the process. There’s no right or wrong.

Dementia and small children

The grandparent–grandchild relationship can be precious, like no other. But even young children notice if Grandma or Grandpa isn’t acting the way they used to, or the same way others do. And they will have questions.