The Heartbeat
Our monthly newsletter

What is a daily money manager?

A financial advisor manages investments. A daily money manager (DMM) is someone who comes to the home once or twice a month to handle the mundane aspects of personal finances: Paying monthly bills (but your loved one signs the checks). Balancing the checkbook. Navigating health insurance claims. Resolving billing errors. Tracking donations. Organizing paperwork. Gathering documents for tax time. Their job is to catch unnecessary expenses while making sure important payments are made on time.

When to call in a DMM. If you are seeing piles of unopened envelopes or shut-off notices, that’s a sure sign extra help is needed. Many families bring in a DMM when the spouse who typically handled the finances dies, as the remaining spouse may find getting up to speed just too overwhelming. Or consider a DMM if your loved one needs help but no one in the family lives close by or has the necessary time or temperament. Conversely, there may be a person who seems a little too interested. The oversight of a DMM can deter a relative or “friend” from taking financial advantage.

Benefits. A DMM can help your loved one continue to live independently and still feel in control. They check for duplicate billings and missed payments. (You don’t want the insurance cancelled!) They can identify cost-cutting measures. For example, trim subscriptions or negotiate a phone plan that better fits actual usage. A DMM can catch unexplained charges on a credit card. Plus, they get to know your relative and can alert you if they notice problems, such as drowsiness or slurred speech. Perhaps bruising from a fall.

To find a DMM. Go to the American Association of Daily Money Managers (aadmm.com). Ask about training, background checks, and professional insurance. And certainly, check on references.

It is flu season

Watch for symptoms of the flu. They include fever, body aches, chills, sore throat, headache, runny nose, cough, and fatigue.

Why the flu shot is important. Influenza (flu) is a highly contagious illness caused by viruses. People over age 65 are most at risk of having severe complications. Older adults represent up to 90% of those who die from the flu, especially seniors with heart disease or COPD, and those who live in a group setting.

To prevent catching the flu,

• get vaccinated each year, ideally by October. Vaccines are remade yearly because the viruses change.
• avoid close contact with people who are sick, especially anyone coughing or sneezing.
• wash your hands often. Use an alcohol-based hand cleaner if soap and water are not available.
• use tissue to cover a cough or sneeze, and then throw the tissue away. Alternatively, use the upper part of your sleeve.
• avoid touching your eyes, nose, and mouth.

These precautions are just as important for you as for your older family member.

If you or your loved one has symptoms,

• call the doctor. An antiviral drug may be advised. These work best if taken soon after symptoms begin. Ask the doctor what symptoms require going to the ER.
• stay home (except to get medical care). Limit contact with others until symptom-free for 24 hours.
• sleep, and drink fluids. Broth, water, juice, and other noncaffeinated drinks are best.
• get extra support. Have someone stop by daily. Good self-care is difficult when illness strikes. That fresh perspective and extra pair of hands are important.
   

If you are around someone who is sick, limit face-to-face time and wash your hands immediately after touching the person, their tissues, or clothing.

A new perspective on stress

Stress has gained a dirty name during the past decades. It’s something we talk about needing to get rid of, as if it were wholly bad. Recent research, however, is showing that stress isn’t always a threat to our well-being.

In fact, it provides many opportunities for growth. The very things that bring greatest meaning and joy to our lives are often the same activities that cause us stress. Being a parent. Work. Caring for a loved one.

People who handle stress well seem to have a particular “stress mindset.” They view stress as a challenge rather than something to be always feared. For instance, if they find themselves tense or revved up, they interpret their reaction as a sign that something important is at risk. Rather than flee from it or fight it, they get curious and look for opportunities to work with it.

Kelly McGonigal, PhD, author of The Upside of Stress, suggests this simple strategy:

• Acknowledge the stress as a sign your values may be threatened. Know your personal signs of stress (tight shoulders, headaches, overeating). Remind yourself that you are stressed because something important to you is endangered. Are you on edge with everyone because timeliness and reliability are core values for you? Hovering like a hawk over supplies because practicality is a virtue? Or stuffing feelings to maintain precious family harmony?
• Create a strategy for working with the stress. The hormonal responses to stress, such as adrenaline and endorphins, provide extra energy and focus. Harness those responses to help you seek information, resources, or support from others. As you make changes, look for solutions that incorporate the core values that are important to you.
• View it as an opportunity to grow. Afterwards, reflect on what you’ve learned. Actively reviewing how you’ve handled a situation builds confidence and skills for navigating future episodes of stress in a healthier way.